JOIN OPPO! THE BLOG FOR CAR GOOBERS

"Party-vi" (party-vi) 03/07/2019 at 14:30 • Filed to: #ClubOpenings, Shit show seeking applicants, mirror fogging, wanking motions

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I made this while I should have been working

Do you like cars? Like, really like cars? To the point that close friends and family are concerned for your well-being because 1) you like cars too much to have any close friends and 2) your family has given up communicating with you through your preferred use of chassis codes and CEL hieroglyphics?

If you have nothing better to do with your day than post about being the future 4th-owner of cars you can’t afford now, comment on this post for authorship privileges to Oppositelock! If you can fog a mirror pass our rigorous screening process then you can count yourself among the few, the proud, the Opponauts!

O P P O T H I C C L O C K

Contrary to popular belief we do have rules, and they are glorious. Learn them through the healing powers of interpretive dance or just !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Hold them close in the night, and don’t let go.

HammerheadFistpunch > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:36

11

ooh, its been a while since a club opening. very nice.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:37

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WilliamsSW > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:39

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Don’t forget to tell the noobs about the minimum shitposting requirement!

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:39

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looks like its that time again. everyone get to your places 

V12 Jake II- New and Improved! > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:41

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Can I come back in now? Its getting  cold outside. 

Future Heap Owner > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:41

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I feel personally attacked

JeepJeremy > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:43

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I have been on here for years now and I appreciate very much the oppo-tunity to be a car goober among friends . It’s a safe place.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:43

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I’m gonna eat a ton of Humus: P0420

jimz > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:44

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I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

oh wait.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:45

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I feel like I should be offended but I'm too fuzzy from huffing starting fluid to give it much thought.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/07/2019 at 14:45

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Me after a drunken night at taco bell. 

lone_liberal > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 03/07/2019 at 14:46

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But my place is under the leaking rear main seal of a SBC. It’s too cold for that!!!

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/07/2019 at 14:47

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Fire in the hole!

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > lone_liberal 03/07/2019 at 14:47

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I SAID GET TO YOUR PLACES

COLD JUST BUILDS CHARACTER

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:47

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Yes, but isn’t this membership included with my Jalopnik Gold subscription?

Mercedes Streeter > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/07/2019 at 14:47

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Try mixing it with carb cleaner and octane booster , the aroma will set your head straight again. :D

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:47

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We need to also co-opt that picture of a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up for Oppo as well. With a different caption obvs

Party-vi > JeepJeremy 03/07/2019 at 14:48

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oppo-tunity?

banned

TysMagic > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/07/2019 at 14:48

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P0087

Party-vi > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/07/2019 at 14:48

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Jalopnik has no power here. Yo ur gold is forfeit.

JeepJeremy > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:49

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ah damn

I had a good run

Mercedes Streeter > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:49

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Do you like cars? Like, really like cars? To the point that close friends and family are concerned for your well-being because 1) you like cars too much to have any close friends and 2) your family has given up communicating with you through your preferred use of chassis codes and CEL hieroglyphics?

Also feel free to join if you feel vehicles should have fewer than four or even three wheels. Oppo’s big bad biker gang will one day overthrow the car people. Muahahahaha! ..... Provided the car people don’t realize that they’ll win in a fight involving the laws of physics.

Shift24 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:50

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Is there any way we could get this linked like next to OPPO MEET and Rules of the road?

Also I thought pretty much everyone already does, since the front page has forgotten about us

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:50

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But I just got back and can return to my former level of shitposting again.

WilliamsSW > JeepJeremy 03/07/2019 at 14:53

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KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/07/2019 at 14:53

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Oppo Silver > Jalopnik Gold

I f you have to ask how much? you cannot afford it.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:54

3

Oh.

Well then.

Let me start over.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:54

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I can't fog a mirror. Does this mean I get the banhammer?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:56

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It occurs to me with this post that during my 4 years on Oppo I’ve probably convinced about half a dozen of my real-life friends to get authorship, and only one of them still posts even remotely regularly. The rest made a post or two, and that was it.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 14:59

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I don’t know, how do we know we’re not going to be inundated by people who think the Miata NA is the worst Miata? I don’t think I want to associate with THOSE people... 

7:07 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:01

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what if I only have one car and it’s not rusty or dangerous

scoob > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:01

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k

CB > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:01

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To all potential new posters: welcome! The mods have only threatened to ban me a lot but they're nice folk!

lone_liberal > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 03/07/2019 at 15:02

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I’m going, I’m going. 

Aremmes > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:10

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So what do we need to do to pass the test? Post a DOTS?

Maybe a meme?

Or perhaps current automotive conditions?

and 100 more > CB 03/07/2019 at 15:22

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A velvet ban-hammer.

and 100 more > Aremmes 03/07/2019 at 15:24

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I thought T heme D ays were verboten?

benn454 > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/07/2019 at 15:25

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A representative will be by with the zombie vaccine (12 gauge) to cure you of the walking deaditis (put an ounce of lead through your gray matter) shortly. Please standby.

Aremmes > and 100 more 03/07/2019 at 15:26

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Every day is Oppo Theme Day.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/07/2019 at 15:30

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$20 worth of Taco Bell always seems like such a good idea at the time doesn’t it?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/07/2019 at 15:32

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It’s a special kind of sickness we have here...

Chariotoflove > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:35

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Dammit, now the bar will be crowded and all the G oldfish will get eaten.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Mercedes Streeter 03/07/2019 at 15:36

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Don’t you still have more 4 wheeled vehicles than 2 wheeled ones? Which side are you really on?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 15:37

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ESPECIALLY when drunk.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Chariotoflove 03/07/2019 at 15:39

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What?! No one told me we have a bar!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > benn454 03/07/2019 at 15:40

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Oh come on. Give me some credit. Just a 12 gauge?

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:42

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MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/07/2019 at 15:43

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I would probably modify that to “Only when drunk”...$20 of Taco Bell is sooo much food

Out, but with a W - has found the answer > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:48

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Has anyone checked the basement for stragglers recently?

V12 Jake II- New and Improved! > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/07/2019 at 15:56

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Same here, I had  a cousin on here for a little bit but he dropped out a while back.

Mercedes Streeter > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 15:56

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Well...I have 4 smarts and 6 motorcycles, so I may have joined the two wheels good crew a little too hard.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Mercedes Streeter 03/07/2019 at 15:59

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Shit, I thought you “only” had 3 motorcycles...apparently I haven’t been counting (to be fair though with how often you seem to buy and sell it’s difficult to keep track lol)

CalzoneGolem > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 15:59

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Please sign me up for 7.

MrDakka > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 16:01

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So much value...so much pain

benn454 > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/07/2019 at 16:01

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Oppo put in a requisition for punt guns, but sadly that is still stuck in committee . Estimates say they should be ready for deployment no later than 2030.

Party-vi > Mercedes Streeter 03/07/2019 at 16:01

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banned

Party-vi > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/07/2019 at 16:02

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Are you sure you shouldn’t be working on the Kinja Dev team?

Party-vi > Aremmes 03/07/2019 at 16:03

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EVERY DAY IS VERBOTEN! BANNED!

Party-vi > Future Heap Owner 03/07/2019 at 16:04

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This gives me warm and fuzzies.

MrDakka > Mercedes Streeter 03/07/2019 at 16:04

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But with some creative welding, you could have 7 Smarts or some sort of hideous land train.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:06

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I know nothing about HTML, but with the little I do know about computers, I could probably do better. Since I’ve taken more than one computer science class, I think I’m overqualified. 

MrDakka > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:06

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Time to lower the bar

Party-vi > V12 Jake II- New and Improved! 03/07/2019 at 16:06

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*opens door*

*locks screen door*

*closes door*

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 16:09

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In alcohol’ s defense, I’ve done some pretty stupid shit while sober too.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/07/2019 at 16:15

1

It happens

benn454 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 16:20

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Narrator: Later that night, MasterMario came to find out it was NOT a good idea.

PartyPooper2012 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:22

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Wait... i thought you were recruiting noobs. You just banned a slew of seasoned oppos.

(Don’t ban me)

*Bans self*

PartyPooper2012 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:24

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What’s like a Van but starts with a B? 

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > benn454 03/07/2019 at 16:25

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That’s a future MasterM ario problem

PartyPooper2012 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/07/2019 at 16:28

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Everyone knows Miata YA is better than Miata NA

V12 Jake II- New and Improved! > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:28

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WOOOO ITS TIME TO SHITPOST

Party-vi > Aremmes 03/07/2019 at 16:45

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Avanti?

Double-added.

benn454 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 16:45

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Fuck that guy. What does he know about fun?

Party-vi > JeepJeremy 03/07/2019 at 16:46

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re-instated for po t ty mouth.

JeepJeremy > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 16:59

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Fuckin A! Thank you!!!

ihm96 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 18:53

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Until you get a beatdown like the local Philly taco bell employees just gave to someone for waiting 40 minutes. Funniest Philly story of 2019 so far in my book

ihm96 > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 03/07/2019 at 18:54

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Until you get a beatdown like the local Philly taco bell employees just gave to someone for waiting 40 minutes. Funniest Philly story of 2019 so far in my book

GSKING19 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 21:45

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May I join good sir? 

Aremmes > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 22:34

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Yes, an Avanti. First one I’ve ever seen in the flesh, so I had to pull over and take the picture.

Also, thanks!

Racin'Jason002 > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 23:14

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Part-vi, help me! My old account got locked out because my old school google account got shut down, and now I have to make this new account and regain authorship and commenting abilities. :(

RooseveltDad > Party-vi 03/07/2019 at 23:25

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Permission to come aboard, Captain?

Party-vi > GSKING19 03/08/2019 at 07:12

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Nah you’re on a burner with one (1) comment in your history, but I did give you the ability to comment here to build up your history. Comment for a while and ask again and I’ll check to make sure you’re not some evildoer in disguise.

Party-vi > Racin'Jason002 03/08/2019 at 07:19

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boop. done.

Party-vi > RooseveltDad 03/08/2019 at 07:19

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donezo

Gordon Peck > Party-vi 03/08/2019 at 08:46

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Could I have a crumb of authorship, good sir?

elpaco13 > Party-vi 03/08/2019 at 09:53

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I have a ton of mean stuff to say, but not directly to people, just more of a spray and pray mentality some interesting topics I’d love to discuss with this fine community. May I please have authorship privileges?

This is actually the specific comment that brought me to ask for authorship:  https://jalopnik.com/1833123511

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PartyPooper2012 03/08/2019 at 10:16

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ST80MND > Party-vi 03/08/2019 at 11:12

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I would like to shift my OPPOship into 3rd gear, and inflict my oppoinions on the masses please. Its hard to start a religion when nobody knows you exist!  

Party-vi > Gordon Peck 03/08/2019 at 12:29

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added mang

Party-vi > elpaco13 03/08/2019 at 12:46

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congratulationsyou’rein

ST80MND > Party-vi 03/09/2019 at 09:58

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Please sir, permit me to expunge my ramblings....

Racin'Jason002 > Party-vi 03/09/2019 at 10:15

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Thanks, boss!

Jordan > Party-vi 03/09/2019 at 12:22

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Hi, would I be able to become an author please?

factoryhack > Party-vi 03/09/2019 at 17:59

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Hey y’all. Can I get authorship privileges ? I’ve got lots of stories, most of them true.

Party-vi > factoryhack 03/11/2019 at 08:00

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Sure. Boop.

Party-vi > Jordan 03/11/2019 at 08:01

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In like Flint.

AlfaCorse > Party-vi 03/12/2019 at 19:42

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Hey, could I have some of that authorship if there is any left?

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Party-vi 03/13/2019 at 12:20

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I nominate https://kinja.com/alfacorse  for authorship!  He came to the Portland meet and to my knowledge, didn’t try to kill anyone of us.

Party-vi > AlfaCorse 03/14/2019 at 08:07

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boosh. done.

Aero Engineer > Party-vi 03/25/2019 at 01:20

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Hi, I just turned 40 and bought a Buick, would like to share my experience with a fun article i wrote about the Buick TourX and wagons in general.  Any more of that authorship left over?